My Journey ~ Part #2 ~ New Day

I was still swimming in the ocean of uncertainty when I arrived at Penland in 2009.  Once again I was blessed with a work-study scholarship.  Renewed with the knowledge that the weight of the pain of the circumstances of my life was lifted, my transformation took place in my hands.  I discovered relief tile making with Angelica Pozo, and my hands learned a new way of making that spoke to my soul.  I left Penland after Auction, walking on dry land – no longer swimming in the brokenness of the Blues.  I was changed from the inside out.  I let go fear and started to live in the moment of greatness for my life.  I discovered it’s not about finding myself.  It’s about walking out God’s purpose for my life.  Yes, I’m broken with no more strength to fight.  I’ve failed time and time again, and every one of the choices I made has led to regret.   But, it’s in my brokenness that I’m “justified by grace,” and with that grace each and every moment is a NEW DAY!

My Journey ~ Part #1 ~ I Look 2 U

In 2008, I applied as a scholarship student to Penland School of Crafts during one of the darkest hours of my life.  I received the blessing of a Lucy Morgan Scholarship, and experienced the beginning of a transformation in my art and in my life.  Penland became the light to illuminate my way out of the pain of humiliation, rejection, being diminished and stripped of dignity in a toxic learning environment.  It was a struggle to get to Penland that summer.  I felt as if I was drowning in an ocean of pain, with a weighted rope around my ankle pulling me down into the melancholy blues.  The transforming light of Penland taught me that I doubted my own strength.  I untangled the rope of self-doubt, anger and fear around my ankle, swam up to the light of day and exhaled.  I am helpless and broken and with each and every breath “I Look 2 You”! .... the journey continues ...

Who Am I?

I’m teaching visual journaling to my 4^th and 5^th grade art majors.  In doing so, I’m completing my own journal page.  We can choose one of two prompts:  “All About Me!” or “Who Am I?”  My choice is “Who Am I?”  In the midst of my ongoing transformation, I ask myself this question often.  Sallie B. is transforming into using the “Nurtured Heat Approach” pioneered by Howard Glasser.  While I’m not privy to being trained as a “heart nurturing” educator, I am part of “The Penland Experience.”  Much of what co-workers who have been “officially” trained in the “Nurtured Heart Approach” report experiencing, I’ve experienced at Penland.  Both are vehicles to discovering the self “greatness” that we all possess.  One approach is geared for parenting, teaching and therapy, and the other for the creative process.  God reaches out to us in many ways, and my first hand knowledge of acknowledging my greatness comes from the transformation of what I create with my hands.

So, “Who Am I?”  I often wonder being 125 pounds over weight.  I feel that I’m lost, that I’m buried deep inside myself.  I long to be the “me” on the outside that I feel I am on the inside.  The pain and burden of excess weighs me down, and prevents me from flying.  I worked hard and was so excited about getting gastric bypass while we were out of school for three weeks during Winter Break.  It didn’t happen, and I’m still faithfully waiting.  I completed my last consultation last week, so hopefully soon it will be my turn for a second chance at “health.”