Come Back As A Flower

Come Back As A Flower
Mixed Media Self-Portrait (Sculpted clay mask, fabric & digital illustration)


Dreams are important to me.  And my dream for me in 2012 is to get healthy and make pottery.  I want to get healthy to make pottery, and making pottery will help me get healthy.  My inability to handle stress is a big part of my problem.  I know what works but haven't always done it because I put circumstances above my need to be creative.  Then I get caught up in the time consuming drama of the circumstances.  This leaves no time and energy for my own creative endeavors.  I get frustrated, over-whelmed and restless, which causes me to pack up and move to some where else.  Not having a sense of belonging makes it difficult for me to feel settled and grounded.

Of all the places I've lived, I now find myself living in the one place on planet earth that I dislike the most.  It's like I've danced around the circle to get back to the beginning.  To the place where it all went wrong and my life got derailed.  God is giving me a second change to begin anew.  It's up to me to demonstrate my faith where the rubber meets the road.  It's up to me to show that I truly believe that God is in control even though it looks like my life is a complete failure.  It's up to me to have a heart full of joy, happiness and enthusiasm while living in social isolation -- cut off from everything that stimulates me.

I'm completely helpless, and broken like the dry shards of unfired pottery that's been tossed about in a violent storm.  I'm thankful for the warm refreshing rain of salvation, grace and mercy abundantly available through Jesus Christ.  With Gods help, the extra ordinary is possible.  I can get rid of diabetes and be restored to a healthy weight in spite of the pain and heart ache that got me to this place.

Dream Page Background
PROCESS: Journal pages 2 and 3 are two pages glued together using PVA with Methyl Cellulose.  Waxed paper was used in front of and behind to keep glue from spreading in journal.  Pages were smoothed with a bone folder.  Pages were allowed to dry overnight.  In stage one, tissue paper was torn and attached to pages using matte medium.  Why tissue paper and why these colors?  Because I dream of the view of the blue waters on the Outer Banks and the changing sky over the blue mountains at Penland.

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