Come Back As A Flower

Come Back As A Flower
Mixed Media Self-Portrait (Sculpted clay mask, fabric & digital illustration)

Nick of Time #5/30 Art That Heals

Painting "Dancing Clouds" is becoming more than an exercise in observation and concentration.  There are no people, plants, or animals in my landscapes or skies.  The paintings are void of anything except sky and clouds.  Why? I ask myself.

Because I'm painting my feelings of pain and heartache and the isolation I feel living in Wilson.  I was born here at Mercy Hospital but I've never felt like I belong.  It's difficult to feel like a stranger in your homeland.  But, I  do.  I've lived in a lot of places all over North Carolina, always searching for a place to belong.  My "Circle Dance" has brought me back to my own beginnings. 

Painting "Dancing Clouds" is teaching me to leave all of that behind.  To open up my heart.  I can't change my yesterdays, but by living in the moment, I can change my tomorrows.  Life is choice driven, as my BFF like to say.  I choose to be happy,  full of JOY and creativity.  I choose to find joy in simple things, like watching, drawing and painting clouds as they dance by and squishing clay through my fingers.

Being an artist is a fearful prospect because it means taking the road less traveled.  But, it's the road that I was born to travel.  So, last night and early this morning I'm painting multiple oil paintings in layers of colors.  They are wet and need to dry out before I apply the next layer of color.  In many ways, oil painting is like working with clay.

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